These are the UK's top jokes so far ... A man goes to the doctor and says: 'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.' The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him ...

Children's television presenter Jamie Theakston issued an apology last night after humiliating newspaper revelations that he had sex with three prostitutes in a Mayfair brothel. The 31-year-old ...